The Psychic Reading ...

Can anyone just become a psychic? My research does not include hours of browsing the internet, reading thick books on the subject or even talking to experts. No, my research consists of one solitary visit to a psychic medium, approximately 15 minutes on the internet and one book I purchased on Amazon for a penny. Inspiration? watching the Mentalist on TV. Although they don't really call him a psychic, and there seems to be some sort of science to what he does ... still, it looked "psychic-like" and was enough to get me off the couch.

My first Psychic Reading:

Well, that was an experience. I had driven by her house several times, always noticing the big sign on her front yard "Psychic - Come on In." So one day, I did just that, I went in.

A young woman of mediterranean descent, who spoke perfect english and was very friendly. The inside of her home was cozy and ordinary. It wasn't dark, creepy or weird at all. This was like visiting an old friend. For my reading, she took me to a separate room. In this room, I noticed all the religious artifacts. She asked if I was a Christian and I replied "in name only." I was still feeling comfortable.

We sat down and I noticed there were no crystal balls, candles or incense. Just a plain table with a deck of Tarot cards on top. Her services include:

1. Palm Reading
2. Tarot Reading
3. Psychic Reading.

But for only $49.99 I could get all three, and have a thorough, deep reading. I opted for the $49.99 special.

The Palm Reading was a brief 3 minute session where she told me my traits, characteristics and so forth. It was very general, and she did ask for my date of birth. Hmm one can easily memorize the astrological signs and come up with that.

The Tarot Reading was much more interesting. I cut the deck in half, and watched as she spread out several cards in front of us. They didn't look friendly at all. I noticed one that had the grim reaper image on it, and another one that had a hanging man. I started to feel a little apprehensive. She asked if I was open to ALL information, the good and the bad. I said yes, bring it on!

She started with the Money Situation. Good start, I like money. The medium said I was like a dollar bill floating in the ocean, without direction. I don't know what disturbed me most, the fact that I'm only a "dollar bill" or the fact that I'm floating aimlessly. Focus! she said, and you will find your true calling. What industry should I focus on? a moment of silence, then she said "the service industry!" What the hell? I'm sitting here in my Jimmy Choo shoes, and Gucci handbag and the cards are saying ... what? the "service" industry?! as in ... serve other people? hmm, we'll see about that one. Moving on...

On the subject of Love. Ok, this is the part I've been waiting on. My perceptive Psychic announced that there's something missing in my marriage. I thought "Yes, like hot sex!" her advise was to dig deeper and feel what truly will make me happy. Hmm a quick trip to the adult store will make me happy right about now. Let's get this reading over with. She then announced "beware of temptation, for it will lead to heartache and pain." Based on the pictures of these cards in front of me, my interpretation is ... don't hang yourself with temptation for it will surely be the death of your marriage. Ok, got it. My health seems fine, she continued, and I will live way into my late 80's.

The Psychic Reading. She asked for something made of metal ... maybe my car keys and started rubbing it between both hands. I watched impatiently. I don't recall the Mentalist doing this. "Ask me a question" she said. So I asked "what's going to happen to my marriage?" and she replied "I cannot answer that" What the hell?! "How about children?" and she replied "you will have three pregnancies ... how old is the one you have now?" Whoa, she's good. How did she know I have one child and not two? She then said that my child will bring prosperity, peace and happiness into my life. That I won't have to worry about him too much because my son is a warrior. A leader. I was hooked! I left feeling proud, happy and satisfied. My little lion cub is a warrior. Damn right!