Super Coffee Maker

After seeing Roman and the baby off, I eagerly changed into my sweats and headed to the kitchen. I noticed that my housekeeper Perdita just arrived. She apologized for being late, and will fix breakfast in a jiffy. Well, since she's busy with breakfast, I'll make the coffee.

I stared at the sleek machine in front of me with the utmost confusion. What the hell is this? At the bottom of the machine, it said "Espresso Maker." Ok, well obviously this is not the appliance I want. I asked Perdita where the coffee maker was and she pointed at the mini rocket in front of me. "No no", I said "this is an espresso machine" she just shrugged. Knowing I wasn't going anywhere in this conversation, I called Roman on his cell.

"The espresso machine is the coffee machine ... just pick the COFFEE option" I do hate calling Roman about these things, he makes me feel so dumb. I was determined to make coffee. I started reading the manual:

"Simply raise the lever to infuse ground espresso in the filter holder with water, then lower it to extract every nuance of flavor and aroma into one or two cups..." oh for heaven's sakes! This isn't a manual, this is poetry! And I don't need poetry at 7:40 am! I just want some damn coffee.

Still, I kept reading "the heat-exchange boiler allows you to go from brewing to steaming with no downtime..." there's a boiler in this thing? I'm starting to feel lightheaded.

I'm going to Starbucks.